Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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