How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
