why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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