Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
