hell yes lets make some ravioli
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
