I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Princesses don't give blow jobs
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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