Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
