Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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