I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
either way he was missing a nipple.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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