I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
