How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
