This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
