There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
