I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize