Screwed.edu
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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