I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
birth control should be required to get into college
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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