i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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