my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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