you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Someone shit on the floor
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The uberlube is also flammable
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
