SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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