You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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