Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
