We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
