I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize