oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
