my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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