He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
