Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
