so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
