I hate all girls vehemently.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
