WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I intend to get homeless drunk
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
