A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize