girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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