pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize