I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
