Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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