waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
