cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize