she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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