I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
