You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
