My nipple is on Facebook.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
what is it with giant penises always finding me
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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