Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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