just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
