i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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