I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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