My room smells like vodka and shame
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
