We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
