My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
