considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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