i just had sex bonerless
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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