Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
