and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
