This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
