Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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