I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
