The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
