Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
