There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
