i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
