Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
