At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
