found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
