So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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