one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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