Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry BLINDIE hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(219): View more from Indiana

Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.

Fav 14 1144 5711
share tweet
(301): View more from Maryland

The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.

Fav 56 898 5950
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"

Fav 8 3499 1424
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night

Fav 3 2179 1051
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.

Fav 13 3590 971
share tweet
(603): View more from New Hampshire

My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"

Fav 2 2108 926
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(210): View more from Texas

I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...

Fav 3 1025 1841
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion

Fav 2 181 228
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!

Fav 0 56 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT