Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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