Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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