He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
